Nightmares

Funny how the mind works... In the more than eight months Noah was in Iraq, I rarely had nightmares. Oh, I had worries, for sure and sometimes my fear and worry kept me awake at night, especially on those occasions when we would hear nothing from the Guys for extended periods. But I don't remember dreaming bad dreams or having nightmares about the Guys.

Since Noah was injured though, I have had more nonsensical nightmares that involved all things military which awaken me and leave those feelings of anxiety that linger for some time after. For instance, last night I had two different nightmares. In the first, everyone was running inside the seats and recesses of a large stadium (I swear it was the Meadowlands in Jersey). People were running and there were soldiers with guns protecting us as we all ran. I have no clue what or whom they were shooting at or protecting us from, but they were protecting us. None of the soldiers were known to me, but they were definitely the Good Guys.

In the second dream there were people in a large office building with lots of doors and rooms and hallways and my DH and I were trying to help an older man who needed to have someone on a stretcher moved down a few flights of stairs... but when we arrived, there were lots of people helping. Again, there were military people around and there was some urgency to the situation... and fear. I remember having fearful dreams while we were in Germany, too although I can not remember any of the details -- just that when I woke, my heart was beating fast and I was anxious.

I'd suspect that these might be subliminal references to the Hurricane Katrina recovery efforts, but I'm getting my information from print and online sources since television coverage is no longer factual but instead hysterical... And somehow I know these dreams are just all the worry and stress and anguish of the last 18 days bubbling over from those places in our heads that we tuck all those feelings when they would otherwise overwhelm our sanity... and then we have to let them out in small pieces so that they disperse... Yes, funny how the mind works.

And so today I'm going to repair a little... getting my hair cut... maybe ride a horse in the hills... take my dogs for a long walk in the woods and let them chase butterflies and tiny lightning fast ground lizards (which they actually think they can catch - HA!)... and then I'm taking a few days off... off to help a certain soldier get settled into new housing... and we're going to go get his "stuff"... a television, a radio, blankets and pillow... taking him civilian clothing... and a Class A uniform hung so precisely in a closet nine months ago that will be updated with new rank and a Combat Infantry Badge awarded yesterday so that he can wear it to the memorial service next week for a fallen comrade and friend... and when I return, I plan to stay home for a while...

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